Why I Could Never Celebrate My Success (Until I Saw This)

heartinhandatelier
8 hours ago
4 min read

As I looked back at the blog posts I've written this year, I noticed something interesting.

On the surface, they all seem to be talking about different things.

Redesigning my success metrics as an art-preneur.
Giving myself permission to have fun.
Realising that permission is actually a choice that I give myself.
Healing my inner critic when it comes to taking time to fill my own cup first thing in the morning.

But underneath all of them is the same issue.

I thought my problem was that I couldn't celebrate my successes. I was wrong.

The real issue was that I couldn't see the value of the work I do, no matter how hard I worked.

When I can't see the value of what I do, it becomes almost impossible to celebrate it. It wasn't really a success metrics issue. Neither was it about not earning enough before I could rest or have fun. Because when I cannot see the value of my work, no amount of work will ever feel enough to "earn" rest, fun or play. Every milestone I hit gets a quick "Yay!" before my brain immediately shifts the goalpost. "Okay, that's done. So... what's next?"

If I spoke to a friend like that after every achievement she has attained, it would be incredibly demoralising. Yet somehow, that's the conversation I have with myself.

To help myself see my progress more clearly, I recently started keeping a monthly success log.

Whenever someone enquires about my 1-1 Heart-led Art Experience, books a workshop, commissions an artwork, or even when I complete something meaningful that plants a seed in my business, I write it down.

Seeing everything in one place helps me recognise that I am growing.

That there is interest.

That there is visibility.

That I am showing up consistently.

But even then, those moments don't stay with me for very long before my brain starts asking,

"What's next?"

If you've been following my blog for a while, you'll know that I often reflect with AI as my mirror and sparring partner. Recently, during one of our conversations, it reflected something back to me that surprised even me:

It suggested that every time I complete something meaningful, I should plant a flag.

At first I thought, "That's a nice metaphor." But the more I sat with it, the more I realised it was giving me something I had never given myself before - a deliberate pause before chasing the next thing.

Such a simple idea.

But it landed.

When we hike up a mountain, we usually celebrate only when we reach the summit.

What if we planted flags all along the way instead?

Each flag becomes a reminder that this moment mattered.

That I showed up.

That I learnt something.

That I created value.

That I moved forward.

Instead of only celebrating the biggest milestones, the journey itself becomes filled with colourful flags reminding me how far I've come.

Another conversation with a fellow artist helped deepen this idea even further. She suggested looking beyond the task itself and asking,

"What value did this create?"

Laundry is a good example. Doing the laundry feels like something I "should" do. Nothing particularly worth celebrating. But while I was away at my recent breathwork retreat, there was a little hiccup at home. Some clothes weren't washed in time, and someone didn't get to wear the shirt they needed.

Suddenly I could see the value differently.

Doing the laundry wasn't just doing the laundry. It meant my family had clean clothes when they needed them. Writing this blog isn't just writing another blog post. Perhaps someone who is walking a similar journey will read this and realise they're not alone. Perhaps they'll borrow this idea of planting flags and try it for themselves.

Every time I jam with AI now, because of the prompts we've created together, it deliberately asks me to pause and plant a flag. To recognise the value I've created, no matter how small.

It's incredibly counter-intuitive for me.

My body still doesn't fully believe it.

But I also know that nervous systems learn through repetition. Every time I practise planting a flag, it feels like riding a bicycle with training wheels. One day, I hope I won't need the training wheels anymore.

I'll naturally pause.

Acknowledge my effort.

Recognise the value I created.

Celebrate before moving the goalpost.

Maybe then, fun, rest and play won't feel like rewards that need to be earned through blood, sweat and tears. Maybe they'll simply become another part of life.

If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear:

What's one flag you could plant for yourself today before moving on to the next milestone?